In this post linked here
, a mother of a 5 year old boy posts about his choosing a Daphne costume for Halloween, and some people's ignorant responses to that.
I read the post as saying this: her son wanted to dress in a girl costume. Some people think that boys who prefer girl things often turn out to be gay. And her response is that it’s okay if her son is gay and it’s okay if he’s not gay.
This is a wonderfully supportive statement in regards to gay and non-gay kids. And I love the post for this. She wants the world to be a safer place for boys like her boy-- all of them, not just her boy.
What is quietly bothering me about this, though, is that when a kid consistently and frequently
shows a preference for the other gender’s behavior and clothing and so on, it might be a better idea to consider supportive statements related to gender identity
instead of sexual/romantic orientation. “It’s okay to be a boy who likes boys” and "you can be any kind of boy you want" are awesome statements-- unless you’re pretty sure you’re not a boy.
I know it’s a tremendous reach from “my kid wants a Daphne costume” to “maybe my kid is questioning their gender identity in a serious way” but I think it’s a much more logical stretch than “maybe my kid might be gay.” It certainly doesn’t apply to all the little boy Daphnes out there-- but for the one or two where it does, I really wish those kids could hear what they need to hear from their parents too.